So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
