so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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