I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
