How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
