If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
smell my finger.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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