could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
