At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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