id be glad to
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
