Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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