Sponge bath it is.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize