??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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