so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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