I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
