: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
