playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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