never play flip cup with pint glasses
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize