Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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