i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
