At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
