Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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