pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
