I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
