I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
