Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
BRING THE BAGELS
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
