You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
