Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
