i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
And my parents said I crawled through the house
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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