party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
