So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
is that a dick in a sweater?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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