and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
