why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
