There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
