Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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