Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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