is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
