I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
