is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
