It's like God shit irony all over that family
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
