there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
