hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
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