So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
