guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
