A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
