I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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