this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
