I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
