Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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