I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
