So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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