I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
