I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
