worst night to have a conscience
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
