Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
