Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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