Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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