I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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