I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My liver just had a heart attack.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
