it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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