I wanna bring you to show and tell
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
