just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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